


i come to you in pieces

by blasphemous



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec's recovery, Asmodeus is an Arschloch for putting Magnus through pain, Coping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Loss of Immortality, M/M, Opening Up, Post 3x10, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 11:34:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18030950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blasphemous/pseuds/blasphemous
Summary: “He's my father, Alexander” he finally said, lifting his eyes to perch them on his boyfriend.“He's also a greater demon” Alec retorted. “One you haven't visited in centuries. Challenging Lilith by pulling her parasite out of my parabatai isn't something someone does gratis out of fatherly love.”Set between 3x10 and 3x11. One shot where Alec finds out what Magnus had given up.





	i come to you in pieces

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MalecGloryDays](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalecGloryDays/gifts).



> I can't be the only person annoyed asf about the lack of disclosure as to how Alec found out about Magnus' loss of immortality and magic. Special thank you to [Lorenzo](https://mobile.twitter.com/hrryblckpnk) for giving me the incentive to write this fic in less than 3 hours. :') 
> 
> Title taken from [‘Pieces’](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Uw8mIcQJn8) by Red. Enjoy. :)

“You really got in trouble this time, huh?”

The words were slurred to Alec's ears, toppling each other with an echo that barely made them understandable. But he knew the voice quite well, and with as much effort as he could muster, he slid his eyes open to look at the warlock standing beside the couch he was sprawled across. 

A small, tired smile sought his lips and Catarina tilted her head, smiling back kindly. “You worried us.”

“I thought–” Alec cleared his throat, his voice hoarse from disuse, then repeated, “I thought Lorenzo forbade you from aiding us” his voice remained only a few octaves above a whisper, but Catarina heard him anyway, rolling her eyes and gesturing vaguely over her shoulder. 

“He forbade us from aiding you in defeating Lilith, he said nothing about healing a close friend's lover” she answered, then looked up at the footfalls coming from the other end of the room, out of Alec's view. He tried to move into a sitting position, only to hiss and flop back down with a defeated sigh, eyes closing. 

“You're awake” the words were breathless and made Alec's eyes open wide. _Magnus._

Catarina moved away and was now pulling her jacket on, and Magnus took her place beside the couch, squatting down in front of Alec with a mixture of relief and concern on his features. It made Alec's heart twist in pain.

“Hey” Alec rasped, lifting a hand to cup Magnus' cheek tenderly, “how did it go? Did he hurt you?”

Magnus chuckled, incredulous and fond, as he shook his head. “You're just full of surprises, aren't you?” He grinned, “worry about yourself, young man” he scolded benignly, then leant over to press a lingering kiss to Alec's forehead.

“Alright, lovebirds, I need to get home to Madzie before my night shift starts” Catarina exclaimed from behind them and Magnus stood to bid his farewell to her. 

The moment he took her into his arms, she whispered a low “we'll figure it out, Magnus” that managed to momentarily ease his worries before they returned full force. He pulled back with a smile and she patted his shoulder encouragingly before turning away and leaving. 

Magnus kept facing the door, jaw flexed tightly and hands held together in what seemed to be apprehension. 

“You okay?” Alec's query cut him out of it and Magnus swiftly spun on his heel and sauntered over to where Alec lay. 

“I'm okay now that you're okay,” he began, “how about we move you to somewhere more comfortable?” He offered, hands held out. 

Alec, still looking unconvinced, squinted an eye and opened his mouth to question further, but the knock at the door cut him off and they both rolled their eyes in sync. 

It didn't pass Alec's attention that, unlike usual, Magnus didn't use his magic to open the door, and instead walked over to it and swung it open with an exaggerated, drawn out “coming.”

Maryse stood at the door, fear written all over her face as she looked at Magnus. Only a few silent seconds passed before she tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. Magnus smiled slightly, she looked so much younger like this, without the usual strict cruelty honing her features. She began to apologise in rambles, up until Magnus rested a hand on her arm, stopping her. She inhaled deeply, grounded, “I'm sorry for coming unannounced but I heard—”

“You're welcome any time” Magnus interrupted kindly, then opened the door wide, “come in.”

She did, and the second her eyes landed on Alec, she let go of her handbag and rushed over to him, kneeling down and peppering his face with kisses. 

Alec grunted, trying to move away with a grunted ‘mom, stop’. Magnus stood by, watching Maryse scold her son for not letting her help. He watched Alec tell her he's okay, that Magnus is okay, that _Jace_ is okay now too, that he'd never let her endanger herself, mundane or not. 

“Where's Izzy? Is she okay?” The question drew Magnus out of his thoughts and he gave a nod in reply. 

“She's fine, Alexander. Jace is okay, Simon managed to banish Lilith back to where she belongs. A wonder, that boy is” he leant sideways against a pillar, trying to hide how tired he truly was behind a casual façade.

“And Clary?” 

Magnus froze, lips pursing as he shut his eyes. 

The silence extended for a little more, ominously, before Magnus managed to drop the news. “When Simon..” He pushed himself off the pillar to interlace his fingers and walk over slowly to where Maryse and Alec were staring at him, “blasted Lilith back to Edom..the power was too strong, and..”

Alec's brows knitted and once again, he tried to sit up, ignoring the pain until he was sitting upright. “Is she okay?”

“We don't know” Magnus rushed, “there's no proof that she's..dead.”

Alec closed his eyes, lips pressed together as he inhaled deeply. Maryse's thumb stroking along the back of his knuckles managed to calm him. Only a little.

“It wasn't your fault, Alec” she said.

“It was” Alec swallowed, “it was, if I had been quicker—”

“You were wounded!” Magnus exclaimed, horrified, cutting off Alec's absurdity as he stormed towards him. “You can't possibly hold yourself accountable.”

Alec drew a breath, slow and steady. “Jace?”

Maryse pursed her lips, giving Magnus a brief glance before looking back at her son, who was running a hand over the parabatai rune marking his side. “He's.. Not coping very well” she said, “he told me he's going to check on Luke.” 

Alec nodded, eyes drooping heavily before he lifted them to Magnus. “Thank you” he said quietly, to which Magnus smiled and nodded once.

“Rest” he lifted the maroon covers he had fetched from the bedroom over Alec. He didn't say anything after that, fully knowing that his voice would waver and Alec won't sleep until he knows what's going on.

**___**

“Jace told me.”

Magnus knew what Maryse was referring to, but refused to say anything as he poured her a cup of tea. 

“I can't say I know what you're going through” Magnus could feel her proximity before her hand rested on his shoulder. “But I know what it's like to lose such an important part of yourself”. And she _did_. She spent most her life armed with a stele and marks she thought were indelible. She understood what it was like to reach for something that wasn't there anymore. 

Magnus twisted his rings slowly, turning around to face her, eyes catching the sympathy in her dark eyes in an instant. Magnus would've never thought he'd find himself in this situation, where they were both _equal._ Where she wasn't putting on lordly airs. She took another step closer and placed her hands on his upper arms with a watery smile. “Thank you” she said in a breathy rush, “for everything you have done.”

Then she was hugging him, chin fitting against the crook of his neck. Unlike last time, Magnus found himself hugging back without a moment of hesitation, eyes squeezed shut.

**___**

Alec's recovery took two days between his iratze rune and the medicine Catarina had prepared for him. 

He woke up in the early hours of the morning, turned over to pull Magnus closer to him for warmth. It didn't come as a surprise when his hand met the cool covers instead. Just like the past two days, he lay on his back, sighing to himself before getting out of bed to check up on Magnus. 

He dawdled through the living room, stopping in his tracks when he found Magnus standing on the balcony, leaning against the ledge. Magnus' odd behaviour wasn't lost on him. Ever since he came back from Edom, he was different, _detached._

Alec didn't want to push. He knew it was difficult for him to see his father after so many decades, to face the man who catered to his darker side and tried to form a great disparity between his good and evil. But he wanted to know if he could do anything to soothe the coldness Magnus had come back with. 

“Hey” he settled on saying, keeping his distance. 

Magnus stood upright and turned around to smile at the shadowhunter. “Hey yourself” he said, strutting towards him. He pressed his mug of coffee, untouched, into Alec's hand. “Drink up” he brushed past Alec, humming to himself as he wandered into the sitting area. He took a hold of a book and elegantly flopped down onto the sofa.

Alec hung his head, lips pursed with his back to where Magnus sat, before he set the mug down on the closest surface. “Can we talk?” He asked. 

Magnus' humming came to an abrupt stop. “About?” He drawled, licking his thumb to flip the page. Alec knew Magnus wasn't reading. 

“About Asmodeus?” 

If Magnus was rattled by the mention of the greater demon, he made a good show of acting unfazed, eyes skimming over the page. “What about him?” He asked casually. 

Alec licked his lips, rounding the sofa opposite the one Magnus had plonked himself on. He sat down, carefully putting his words together before he opened his mouth to ask, “what did he take from you?”

It would've taken a blind man not to notice the way Magnus' body went rigid, his hands tightening on the book he held for distraction. 

“He's my father, Alexander” he finally said, lifting his eyes to perch them on his boyfriend. 

“He's also a greater demon” Alec retorted. “One you haven't visited in centuries. Challenging Lilith by pulling her parasite out of my parabatai isn't something someone does gratis out of fatherly love.”

Magnus brow creased, lips pressed together like the words were at the tip of his tongue but he didn't _want to_ liberate them. 

“Magnus, _please,_ ” Alec stood up and crossed the space between them to kneel down. “Just tell me. Ever since you came back, you've been distant. What happened down there?” 

Magnus kept looking downward, a muscle in his jaw feathering tentatively. He opened his mouth, only to shut it a moment later and look up at the shadowhunter. Alec's hazels sought his gaze pleadingly, hands closing around his. Magnus' nails withdrew from the skin of his palms. “He took my immortality” he finally let out. The words didn't have an effect on him, he didn't feel a surge of pain at the articulation, nor did he feel relieved. Numbness. 

Alec's hands loosened on Magnus', lips opening around nonplussed silence. 

So Magnus went on. “And my magic.” He welcomed his own words this time, cherishing the momentary hurt amidst his deadened senses.

Alec forced a shaky breath out. “He— what?” His hands were slack against Magnus', so Magnus gently pulled his hands away, looking down at them. He ran his thumbs over each of his fingers, face contorting with heart-wrenching _agony._ “I can't feel it anymore, Alexander” he choked out. Once the first tear slid down his cheek, there was no way he could stop the rest. He lifted both hands, burying his face in them and finally, _finally_ , cried his heart out.

Alec watched Magnus' emotions — swathed in smiles and false pretences for days on end — pour down his face, shoulders shaking with each ebb and flow of reality. 

Then he grasped Magnus' wrists gently and lowered his hands, thumbs rubbing gently over his pulse points. “Hey” he whispered, “look at me.” 

Magnus tried shaking his head, but Alec let go of his hands in favour of framing his face with both hands. “Look at me” he repeated. “You'll get through this” he said sternly, eyes boring into his, as though he were ingraining the words into Magnus' mind with unfading ink. “You're the strongest man I know, with or without magic. You'll get through this— _We'll_ get through this, okay?” He brushed Magnus' tears away with his thumbs. “Together” he leant closer, forehead resting against Magnus'. He shelved his guilt for now, focussing on their mingled breaths instead. 

Magnus' hands came to rest atop his, snivels shrivelling to silence. “Together.”


End file.
